So for the few people that read this blog, update your links and thanks!

chandelier, originally uploaded by jeremyalyons.

I’m going to endeavor to take more photos and post them here. So much of the time I used to spend photographing has been transformed into time spent simply keeping up with life. I miss taking photos, it kept me centered.

Many folks think of photography simply as taking images, but it’s so much more. It’s the composition of objects into a limited space to be as appealing as possible… that same limited space could capture the inside of a flower or an entire planet, it’s the capturing of a moment in time or condensing a long period of time into an instant, it’s learning to use light and physics to make something interesting… to make things like colors and shadows into emotions. A good photograph is one that makes me think I could honestly sit and look at it indefinitely without getting tired of it, without analyzing it, just to look into the soul of the photograph and see how the photographer saw through his mechanical set of eyes, and just enjoy it.

I’m  definitely going to have to start carrying my camera again.

“There’s blood on the floor.” I said.

“Where?”

“Right over there…” I pointed to a spot on the tile below the disposal for the sharps. There were three bright red drops, organized in a way that could only be the result of random spillage. Since they were so bright red, I figured the drops were pretty fresh, possibly from the person that was there in the examining room before me.

“Don’t worry about it. Watch the video.” He insisted.

“Why are you here anyway? I’m 29 years old for christ’s sake, you can wait in the waiting room.”

“Dude, seriously? There’s more germs out there! At least in here they clean once in a while.” He made a valid point. “Besides, you saw the people out there… bunch of freaks, man.”

I looked back down at the blood on the floor and then back at him. “You’re sure about the clean part?”

“Oh my god… quit being such a wuss and just watch the fucking video.” He replied. It was a video of a barbershop quartet singing the Ewok victory song from Star Wars – Return of the Jedi. It was really good and it made me laugh.

“You know…” I began, “it would be really funny if I talked like an Ewok when the doctor came in.” Jay laughed.

“You could tell him that you don’t know what’s wrong with me, that I’m having bouts of dizziness and for some reason won’t stop talking like an Ewok.” My step-father laughed again.

“That would be awesome, you should do it.” He said. Just then the doctor walked in. He introduced himself and spoke with a heavy accent. I couldn’t figure out if he was French or African. Neither would have surprised me.

“How can I help you today?” He asked.

“Yub nub… e chop, yub nub.” I replied. He looked puzzled at me for a second and then at my step-father. Jay was struggling to contain his laughter.

“Excuse me?!”

I couldn’t maintain. “I’m sorry doc, I was just messing with you.” And I started balling laughing. The doctor wasn’t very amused.

“Ok ok…” I composed myself. “I’ve been getting dizzy all day today. It’s like whenever I’m laying down or sitting and stand up I get really dizzy for like, 5-10 seconds.”

“Are you in any pain?” The doctor asked.

“No pain… but it’s annoying as all hell.” I said. The doctor shook his head and checked my vitals. He did that thing doctors do with putting the stethoscope to your chest, tell you to breath normally, then put it to your back and tell you to breath heavy. Then he had me do a couple of fine motor tests, having me put my arms out and resist him pressing up and down on my arms alternatively. I wondered why he was doing this because I knew from my own reading these were nervous system tests.

“Ok.” He said, “I’m going to go look at your chart and be back in a few minutes.”

Ten minutes pass.

“Jesus. Is this guy ever coming back?” I asked rhetorically.

“Deal with it…” My stepfather answered. “He’ll be back in a minute.”

“Seriously though, this is ridiculous. How long does it take to look at a chart? I mean I know he’s going to come back and tell me that there is probably something wrong in my inner ear. And if he says I have positional vertigo I’m going to go ape-shit. I could have figured that out from Wikipedia.”

I had actually looked up positional vertigo before I left for the doctor’s office. In fact, it was after reading about this that I stood up to go use the bathroom and almost immediately lost my balance and went to the floor. That was when I decided it was time to go to the doctor. Unfortunately it was a Saturday, and I would have to settle for a doc-in-the-box walk in clinic.

The doctor came back in.

“What you have is what is called positional vertigo.” I looked over at my step-father in disgust. “It is likely caused by an issue with your inner ear. I’m going to give you a pill now and prescription for some pills that may or may not help with the dizziness. The nurse will come in shortly and give you those. I want you also to schedule a visit with a neurologist on Monday.”

“A neurologist?” I said, “… why?” But before the doctor could explain, my step-father interrupted.

“So he probably shouldn’t be driving, right?”

“Oh no… definitely no driving.” The doctor said, smiled and pat me on the leg. He turned and started walking out of the room.

“… no, no driving!” he yelled as he walked down the hall. I looked at my step-father.

“That dude is weird like a 9-dollar bill. Let’s get the fuck out of here.” He agreed and reminded me that we had to wait for the nurse to give me my medicine. After five minutes the nurse, a middle-aged woman, appeared and handed me a medicine cup with a single pill in it.

“So…” I began, “this is the one that makes me smaller, right?” My step-father chuckled but the nurse looked at me with a blank stare. I guess she had never heard of Alice in Wonderland? She looked at my step-father dumbfounded. He tried to help.

“You know… one pill makes you smaller, one pill makes you tall.”

“Oh… right…” The nurse said, “… and the ones that mother gave you, do nothing at all.” She quoted Grace Slick and White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane. It wasn’t quite what I was going for, but it was something.

There was an uncomfortable silence and I took the pill.

“So how long before that thing takes effect?” Jay asked of the nurse.

“Oh not long…” She said. “I mean, it’s a low dose but when I take them they start working pretty quickly.”

I shook my head in approval. When the nurse wasn’t looking I glanced over at my step-father and gave him a concerned look. I mouth the words, “When she takes them?” I wondered why on earth she had readily available personal experience on medicines for preventing vertigo, or as the doctor had said, maybe… maybe not preventing vertigo.

I didn’t feel like asking. I didn’t want to be there anymore and just wanted to get out of the examining room.

“Fuck it, let’s go.” I said, and hopped off the examining table. Just as I did that the room started spinning and I shot my arm out at the wall to steady myself. Jay stopped and looked at me, and after a few seconds I waved it off, indicating I was ok.

We walked out to the front desk to pay for my bill. The co-pay was $30 and my step-father asked, “why does your insurance suck so bad?”

“You should be happy that you have insurance at all.” The receptionist stated, possibly wanting to stir up a conversation on current events but I wasn’t in the frame of mind. I handed her my American Express card to pay for the visit.

“Might as well get the points for it…” I said, “after this, I’ll have enough to get an iPod from the Amex website.” And that, coupled with the prescription in hand, seemed like a pretty good consolation prize to me.

I haven’t done much in the way of writing lately because of escalations in the project at my office, an increasing urge to take more photographs, starting a side hustle with some software development and taking on the task of creating a nearly impossible Halloween costume.

Seriously, I don’t know how I get into these messes.

When I get past all of the non-work related stuff, I’m planning on focusing on my photography again. What’s more is that is the only thing I’m going to work on. I realize now I get frustrated when I need to divide up my time and resources to multiple projects. I can do it, but I don’t get the feeling that I’m getting things done quickly enough. I’m impatient, I know.

So the next project is more photography. I’m going to have to some up some ideas for a series or collection to put together. Though I always enjoyed the aimless drives with my camera bag, snapping photos of whatever interesting thing I come across. That kind of behavior will have to continue.

By Kate Luther

If you’ve been struggling with the rest of the economy, chances are you’ve been forced to rethink your financial priorities. And as a result, credit cards are often the first thing to go.

The good news is that once you get behind, many credit card companies will offer to “settle” your account, some for as much as just 40% of your original balance. And if you’re looking at a large chunk of credit card debt, making it go away for 40% of its value sounds like a pretty good deal.

But before you write that check, there’s a little detail you need to know: in many cases, credit card companies can report that unpaid amount to the IRS and – this is the kicker – you’ll have to declare it as income.

Wait a minute, you’re saying. We made a deal. I settled that account and I even have a letter from my credit card company saying it was “settled in full.” I shouldn’t have to pay anything else.

And to that extent, you’re right… you don’t have to pay anything else… at least not to the credit card company.

But using the same laws that allow the IRS to tax you on gifts and prizes, if the unpaid portion is more than $600, the IRS considers it to be income and that income is reported on a Cancellation of Debt Form 1099-C.

That means that while your debt with the credit card company has been satisfied, you may stil have to pay Uncle Sam for getting such a great deal.

For example, let’s say you had a $2,000 debt that you settled for 40% or $800. Your unpaid balance – the amount the credit card company agreed to “forgive” – would then be $1200.

At the end of the year (or whenever they do their reporting), the credit card company would report that amount to the IRS as a “forgiven debt” and send you a 1099-C to file with your individual tax return.

Now, whether or not you’ll actually pay taxes on that amount will of course, depend upon your individual situation and the amount of debt being forgiven.

For most, a $600 increase in income isn’t going to make a big difference in your taxable income but a bump of several thousand dollars just might. And if you consider that the average household has just under $10,000 in credit card debt and access to almost $20,000, it’s not hard to see where a generous “settlement” offer might be considered during hard times.

Fail to report this amount and you could set yourself up for an audit.

This rule does not apply to certain types of debts such as those resulting from VA benefits, qualified farm debt, debts canceled in bankruptcy. It also is not applicable to debts that have been charged off so if your credit card company has sold the debt to a collector and written it off as a “bad debt,” they cannot report the debt as “forgiven” on a 1099-C.

So, what can you do?

While it’s tempting to cut a deal with credit card companies, you may end up paying more than you bargained for. In addition, even though the credit card company notes that the account was “settled in full,” that is not the same thing as “paid in full” and the difference will be noted on your credit report.

There are however, some alternatives. Most credit card companies would desperately prefer for you to get back on your feet and pay your bills so many are offering various payment programs to help you manage your debt while times are tough.

Also remember that a credit card company will hold your account for at least six months before writing it off so if you’re only a few months behind, you may still be able to avoid the collection agencies.

Another option is to enlist the help of a consumer credit counseling agency. However, before you sign up, make sure the agency is reputable and be sure you understand how participating in the program will affect your credit.

It might take a little extra work on your part to get out from under your debt, but at least you won’t have to pay Uncle Sam any more at the end of the year.

My friend was aghast. “You didn’t see ANYONE on your birthday?!” he said with genuine surprise. Being an extreme “people-person”, my friend couldn’t understand why on earth anyone wouldn’t be around a million people on their birthday. In fact, though he didn’t say it I knew it, he thought that act was borderline depressant. Honestly though, I don’t see it that way.

The truth is that I’m an introvert. I found this out after some introspection following reading this article that my sister posted on her facebook. I’ve always known to some extent this was true because I don’t feel particularly different either way if I’m around a large group of people or by myself. I’d prefer to be by myself, not because of a tendency to brood or a necessity to feel sorry for myself, but when I’m alone I do some very productive things.

For instance on my birthday I slept in late, treated myself to a good lunch, cleaned my apartment, went grocery shopping and spent a relaxing night working on some of my writing and software development projects. To me, that was an absolutely perfect day. I couldn’t have gotten those things done if I had my entire click of friends around me singing happy birthday (we had actually done that already the day before). When I explained this to my friend, who is a far to the scale extrovert, he was horrified. When I explained it to his wife, who is more middle of the spectrum, when we all had dinner she shook her head in approval. I love my friends dearly, but I don’t always want to be around them.

In fact, as described in the article, I find most interaction with people to be draining. I by no means am socially inept, as most people I know will tell, but spending the time around people being “on” takes a lot out of me. The rule of thumb described in the article of 2 hours of alone time for every hour with people seems about right to me. Even a large extended family reunion is something that after participating in for a number of hours leaves me wanting to just go home and go to sleep. This however does not apply to my immediate family, who I never seem to get tired of being around.

The crux of this is that yes, I like to be alone. Is it all of the time? No, not at all, just most of the time. But remember that just because someone wants to be alone doesn’t mean that they are depressed or angry or socially inept, it could simply be that they bigger and better things on their mind. Personally I enjoy a good streak of productivity, not just as it relates to work but to my other interests as well, interests that don’t always benefit from a constant stream of people vying for attention.

I think the last section of the article sums it all up best:

How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it’s not a choice. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s an orientation.

Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don’t say “What’s the matter?” or “Are you all right?”

Third, don’t say anything else, either.

You can’t argue with free, and it’s a good introduction to Roth IRAs and why you should be taking advantage of them, if you can, as soon as you can.

link: http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2009/09/20/free-ebook-the-get-rich-slowly-guide-to-roth-iras/

People are just the way they are. For better or for worse, you aren’t going to change the way people are, they have to want to change. Therefore I don’t argue with people anymore, I don’t get involved with their disagreements and I don’t take anything personal. Sometimes it can come off like I don’t really care, but in reality someone else’s issue is just not a good use of my time. In my post quarter-life crisis life I know the kinds of things I want out of life, and the time to get it done in is limited. I’m going to make the most of it.

It’s good to keep drafts of angry emails overnight before sending them. This is related to number 2, and something that I think everyone should do. If you are angry at someone and don’t think that actually talking to them is such a great idea, write down all of what you are thinking in an email and put it in your drafts folder overnight. If you’re in that kind of mood the following morning, then by all means send it. If you’re not, then just leave well enough alone.

I have awesome family. This is actually nothing new. I knew this at this time last year and the year before that and so on. I lump my friends in here too as my second family, because everyone I call a friend has more times that I can remember been there for me as a true friend would. And despite all of the shenanigans I’ve pulled and helped others pull off over the years, no one has disowned me yet, and in spite of ourselves we all manage to help each other become better people. And for that I’m always grateful.

You are your own yardstick in life. People are going to blame you for things throughout the course of your life, but the real question is how good are you at blaming yourself? There are good times for introspection so long as it’s in a constructive manner. That kind of honesty with yourself is something you can never get from anyone else.

Big actions make rise from small beginnings. I figured this one out when I made the decision to erase my credit card debt at the end of last year. Making small changes in the ways that I lived and thought about money and finance enabled me to do that in less than a year. Was it a major paradigm shift in the way I was living? Not at all, and in reality it’s probably helped me to re-focus on what’s really important to me.

Drink good beer and chocolate milk. Though not at the same time, no good has ever come from that.

The prospect of 30 isn’t such a bad thing. The jokes never really faze me, and to me it seems like life is really just getting started. Those of my generation aren’t chained to the same ideas on life that our parents were. I think if anything, I’m just starting to learn what living is really all about. I know the difference between those that are friends and those that simply are familiar. I know the difference between working a job to pay the bills and doing good work that you can be proud of. I know that its love, not blood, that makes people family. And I know that the things I want and want to do aren’t going to simply fall into my lap, I have to take the action to get it for myself.

I’m on vacation.

I haven’t booked a week away on a beach in a foreign country. I am not going on a road-trip through parts of this country. I am not going to see friends from college or family that I rarely see. The truth is that I have nothing planned and it’s exactly what I want to do.

A vacation for me at this point is a solid week of no schedules. For as long as I can remember I have been marching to orders that were not my own, whether it is my work schedule, my social schedule or even a vacation schedule. For the next week my life is unscripted… ad hoc… a completely foreign concept, and at the same time relevant for me with my 29th birthday also this week.

Time to reflect on what my own personal new year will bring, but one thing that’s for certain is that it will be on my own time.